Grandma Sonia - a short story by Joshua Milne

One of my oldest friends in life, Joshua Milne, sent me a short story about his Grandma Sonia; the events in this story occurred while Josh and I were living together at UC Santa Barbara, and while I knew about his injury, I had no idea about the rest of it. With his permission, I am publishing his story at this link here, and hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Josh has also written a book, “The Experience”, which I am just beginning to read. You can find Josh’s book at his website or at Amazon, and I encourage you to check that out as well!

Audre Lorde's The Master's Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master's House

After the murder of George Floyd, I was sent a quote from Audre Lorde; I did not know much about her until now.  What I thought I knew about a meaningful dialogue about racism barely begins to scratch the surface of the mountain of racism that continues to exist today. 

Audre Lorde’s essay, The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House, has helped me begin to frame a different perspective on where we are as a nation, what we collectively need to do to begin to dismantle racism and its corrosive impact, and what each of us needs to do as individuals to help with that process. 

You can find Audre Lorde’s The Master’s Tools essay here, and my thoughts on it are below.

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Audre Lorde’s The Masters Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House is an exploration of various facets of identity, including race, gender and sexuality, and the “tools” used to define these aspects of being.  Her essay was written through the context of her experience at a NYU Humanities conference.  Lorde is coming from the perspective of a lesbian Black feminist and her observations apply broadly to all aspects of our human differences.

She begins her essay with commentary on a conference that is supposed to address the role of difference within the lives of American women but instead sees the absence of considerations of race, sexuality, class and age.  She says "What does it mean when the tools of a racist patriarchy are used to examine the fruits of that same patriarchy? It means only the most narrow parameters of change are possible and allowable."  While this question is phrased in the context of lack of diversity in a Humanities conference, it can be applied to just about every aspect of racism in the United States.

When I hear her question, I think about our nation's "tools" of unceasing 24/7 "infotainment" continuing to fail us, and if it were not for cell phone videos, or tape as in the 1991 beating of Rodney King - how much less the white nation at large would truly know, or perhaps more accurately, how much more the white nation at large would be able to willfully ignore what's in front of our faces.  I think back to Emmitt Till, and how it was the bravery of his mother that drew attention to his death through visual media, not investigative journalism.  MLK had a keen understanding of this as well.  I think about how black men killed are widely described as "unarmed black men" as if by implication somehow the default is "armed black men" (and even if a black man was armed, such as Philando Castile who slowly and clearly spoke to his situation, is assumed to be a threat).  If George Floyd’s murder was not captured on a cellphone camera, would we even be having this conversation?

I think about our educational system writ large as a “tool” to examine American history; Lorde is speaking of her experience at one of the most prestigious universities in the country - accustomed to the absence of input from poor women, Black and Third World women, and lesbians.  If NYU is a channel for Lorde's commentary, what does that speak of the foundational aspects of K-12 curricula across the country? 

As for the “tool” of policing, this requires its own separate analysis.  What I will say here is that if we are listening, we will hear that police are not safe for many of our American communities - in particular Black Americans and other Peoples of Color; if we are looking, we will see that in fact this is true. 

Once we look, we can find endless “tools” that propagate racism just to name a few:  policies on economics, taxes, housing, infrastructure, environment/climate change and of course our criminal justice system.

What would some new “tools” look like and how might we create them?  Lorde speaks of the concept of going beyond just tolerance to a much deeper relationship of interdependency.  Lorde is telling us that interdependency resides outside of outside of racism and patriarchy - interdependency is the path to strength and power:

"For women, the need to desire and nurture each other is not pathological but redemptive, and it is within that knowledge that our real power is rediscovered.  It is a real connection which is so feared by a patriarchal world.  Only within a patriarchal structure is maternity the only social power open to women.  Interdependency between women is the way to a freedom which allows the I to be, not in order to be used, but to be creative.  This is a difference between the passive and active being."

This is a powerful statement - a declaration of desire and nurturing as not somehow the other, or a lesser - but redemptive.  Passivity of being is an acceptance of the current framework and structures imposed by our racist and patriarchal society.  It is instead interdependency that creates security and power to effect change - our differences are the source of that security and power to shape the future.  Tolerance is not enough:

"Advocating the mere tolerance of difference between women is the grossest reformism. It is a total denial of the creative function of difference in our lives. Difference must be not merely tolerated, but seen as a fund of necessary polarities between which our creativity can spark like a dialectic. Only then does the necessity for interdependency become unthreatening. Only within that interdependency of different strengths, acknowledged and equal, can the power to seek new ways of being in the world generate, as well as the courage and sustenance to act where there are no charters. … Difference is that raw and powerful connection from which our personal power is forged."

Lorde is saying that if we build new tools from a place of interdependency and not just mere tolerance, we become stronger and more powerful.   

Ultimately, white people must take on the task of educating ourselves and understanding interdependency is essential for our survival.  We are seeing the need for it play out in real time in our streets and by police departments' response across the nation.  "Now we hear it is the task of women of Color to educate White women - in the face of tremendous resistance - as to our existence, our differences, our relative roles in our joint survival.  This is a diversion of energies and a tragic repetition of racist patriarchal thought." It is not the job of Black people to educate us whites; we must reach out and understand in our core being the need to achieve this interdependency and move towards a just and equal society, and work hand in hand with people of all backgrounds to eradicate racism.

 

We are broken

The deaths of George Floyd , Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor are the latest examples of how broken our basic structures of civility and governance are.

Let’s consider for a minute how all three of these individuals are being described as an “unarmed black man” and “unarmed black woman” by mainstream media. What are the basic assumptions that exist in our culture that black people killed by police (and white non-police) are emphasized by the media as “unarmed” in a way that implies that black people might be a threat if in fact they were armed? Why is that normalized? Stephon Clark. Trayvon Martin. Eric Garner. Freddie Gray. Michael Brown. Sam DuBose. Charleena Lyles. Terence Crutcher. Countless others. Instead of saying “Protests erupted in multiple cities over the death of an unarmed black man at the hands of a police officer”, you could say “Protests erupted in multiple cities over the death of George Floyd, a black man, at the hands of a police officer. Floyd was unarmed.”

Do we really believe the structures of our police departments to be different than how the country at large views black people? Our media and our police reflect the power structures in this nation. I would like to share some thoughts that some of my black friends and colleagues have shared with me over the last day or so:

“If you question why there is so much power in the black community in our black churches, it’s because many of us do not think the majority of white people actually believe in the same God we believe in that governs our lives and actions. For black people, America is more than just racist. It’s a Godless place where fear and ignorance and power and money and FEELING COMFORTABLE are all more important than the lives of its brown and black citizens and the teachings of Jesus Christ in the Bible.  It’s why Toni Morrison said it best when she said that  being American means being white.  We know that because everyone else has to hyphenate….”

My people stare death in the face every time they step out that front door.”

“Current events have me insanely pissed but simultaneously tired. Honestly it is making me more motivated to have more influence so that my voice carries more weight about this stuff.”

One of my colleagues posted the song “Strange Fruit” by Billlie Holiday with the following comment: “Published by Abel Metropol in 1937 and made famous by Billie Holiday’s rendition in ‘39, this soulful gut wrenching poetry paints the picture of Black Lynching oppression that was the backdrop between postwar America. Where the public gave a blind eye and the government (police) often carried out corporal street punishment with little repercussions. For those non POC friends of mine who have been moved by the recent police brutality, Know that Abel, a caucasian Jewish American so distraught by the photograph of the public lynching of Thomas Shipp and Abrahm Smitt that his heart poured out what his eyes could not believe. Remember this was ‘39 and nothing new for its time. Persecution is nothing new; believing that we are at a time where things like this don’t happen is still relatively new.”

Oppression has been built into the structure of our country since the beginning: it was expressly written into the Constitution (the 3/5 persons clause and the Fugitive Slave Clause), it remains implicity written there today through the Electoral College and Senate system, it is written into our national anthem, written by Francis Scott Key in 1814, in verses that we choose to pretend aren’t there and do not sing:

“And where is that band who so vauntingly swore, That the havoc of war and the battle's confusion, A home and a Country should leave us no more? Their blood has wash'd out their foul footstep's pollution. No refuge could save the hireling and slave, From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave, And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.”

The Star Spangled Banner is in some ways reflective of our country at large - the horrific parts are there, but we pretend they don’t exist while we sing about liberty and freedom. That verse, by the way, was aimed at slaves who joined the British in the war of 1812 in exchange for their freedom.

I can’t begin to understand what it is like to walk in the shoes of a black man. However, white people can acknowlege the fundamental structures of this country are broken, and commit to rebuilding them in a way that serves real justice. One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting a different result. The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King said “Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” I can appreciate that the police officer involved in Floyd’s death was arrested today. But we should not have to wait for another black person to die to recognize our injustice and make changes.

Pink Flowers

Pink flowers

The streets are quiet today
as they were yesterday
Ghosts of cars haunt
empty streets

Light from pink flowers
envelops the atmosphere
bathing the sidewalk
with warmth

Shoots of yellow and white
splash across the canvas
with brilliance and surprise
in the empty air

Beauty found in the most
unexpected place
the pedestrians garden

April 24, 2020

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Fryman Canyon

I took a walk this morning with my son along one of Fryman Canyon’s easy trails. It’s just gorgeous and the smell of sage brought me back to hiking with my dad as a kid.

San Fernando Valley view looking north from Santa Monica Mountains to Santa Susana and San Gabriel Mountains on a hazy day

San Fernando Valley view looking north from Santa Monica Mountains to Santa Susana and San Gabriel Mountains on a hazy day

Fryman Canyon trail

Fryman Canyon trail

Fryman Canyon trail

Fryman Canyon trail

Houses in the hills in Studio City

Houses in the hills in Studio City

Surreal rain delay at EWR

A couple of weeks a go I was on my way home to LA, and was significantly delayed by some serious lightning storms. Newark airport was shut down completely, no planes going in or out. We had already boarded our flight, so we just sat there waiting out the storm at the gate. When the storm finally passed, there were dozens of planes jockeying for position to get out of the gate and onto the runway. What’s more amazing is how the mess of planes very quickly organized into neat single file lines awaiting their turn for takeoff. Some photos of the planes moving into formation are below.

What a mess!

What a mess!

Things are moving

Things are moving

Lining up

Lining up

Ready to fly

Ready to fly





Notre Dame

I could not believe the news of the fire at Notre Dame cathedral. We visited it in 2014, and below are some pictures we took. I’ve also included some of the pictures from news orgs post fire for some perspective. We did not take pictures of the roof that was damaged, we just got the facade and a little of the interior.

Front of cathedral, looking at the iconic towers.

Front of cathedral, looking at the iconic towers.

Close-up of the front main entry doors

Close-up of the front main entry doors

Rose window on front facade

Rose window on front facade

Inteiror of cathedral - we chose not to stand in the very long line to get to the front close to the altar.

Inteiror of cathedral - we chose not to stand in the very long line to get to the front close to the altar.

Altar inside Notre Dame - the image is pixelated as I had to zoom since we were outside the area immeidately next to the altar.

Altar inside Notre Dame - the image is pixelated as I had to zoom since we were outside the area immeidately next to the altar.

Interior with holes in roof (photo credit Christophe Petit Tesson/AP)

Interior with holes in roof (photo credit Christophe Petit Tesson/AP)

Interior damage to Notre Dame (photo credit Christophe Morin/Bloomberg)

Interior damage to Notre Dame (photo credit Christophe Morin/Bloomberg)

The interior burining (photo credit PHILIPPE WOJAZER/AFP/Getty Images)

The interior burining (photo credit PHILIPPE WOJAZER/AFP/Getty Images)

Interior smoldering (photo credit PHILIPPE WOJAZER/AFP/Getty Images)

Interior smoldering (photo credit PHILIPPE WOJAZER/AFP/Getty Images)

Photos from most recent trip to NYC

I love taking photos out of airplanes. Snapped a few over LAX, EWR, and a couple on the way. Read on, especially the caption of the last picture of the 757-200 that I was on yesterday.

View of Marina Del Rey

View of Marina Del Rey

Kalitta Air Boeing 747 taking off

Kalitta Air Boeing 747 taking off

Dusky cloud cover off the Santa Monica Bay

Dusky cloud cover off the Santa Monica Bay

Snowy Rocky Mountains

Snowy Rocky Mountains

Newark, NJ

Newark, NJ

Looking down the runway at EWR (Newark Liberty International Airport)

Looking down the runway at EWR (Newark Liberty International Airport)

Dusky cloud cover over Oklahoma

Dusky cloud cover over Oklahoma

The 909

The 909

United Boeing 787 Dreamliner

United Boeing 787 Dreamliner

The actual plane I was flying on yesterday, a Boeing 757-200. Copyright Radim Koblizka; you can link to photo here, and see stats on this 29 year old plane here. Interestingly enough, the decision by Boeing to not produce a successor to the 757 had …

The actual plane I was flying on yesterday, a Boeing 757-200. Copyright Radim Koblizka; you can link to photo here, and see stats on this 29 year old plane here. Interestingly enough, the decision by Boeing to not produce a successor to the 757 had some bearing on United’s position regarding the 737 Max when Airbus came out with its new A320 and A321 neo planes. Boeing had to jerry-rig the 737 to be bigger, have longer range, have bigger engines, and hold more passengers. Kind of like the 757. Which is why airlines still use it 30 years later.

Netanyahu must go

News broke that Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu is working to bring in Otzma Yehudit - a racist right wing political party - into the government. This, on top of the so-called “nation-state” law, puts the current Israeli government squarely in the zone of appearing to have no moral anchor. Mr. Netanyahu, you must go - you are hurting, not helping, the Israeli state. You are hurting the cause for peace. You look craven and desparate to hold power no matter the cost. No state should be sanctioning racism and de-legitimization of a people, especially one whose people have been on the receiving end of such treatment for millenia.